You know those days? The days where you’ve just finished cleaning the toilet – arguably one of the less glamorous tasks imaginable – only to scroll through social media and stumble upon someone praising the joys of housework.
Let’s get one thing straight: homemaking isn’t rewarding for everyone. You won’t find redemption by taking out the trash. There’s no fulfillment in doing load after load of laundry, attempting a perfect boeuf bourguignon like Julia Child, or scrubbing a stubborn stain on the vinyl floor. It isn’t automatically rewarding for anyone. Despite the nostalgic images featured online, most women – even white, cisgender, healthy ones – aren’t humming happily while sorting dirty underwear, draped in pristine 1950s dresses and shiny high heels.
Once, a few years ago, because I was staying home all day, spending my time cleaning, doing laundry, and cooking, I actually wondered: Am I a trad wife? But the label doesn’t fit me at all. I am not legally married to my partner. I am childfree. I am an atheist. My political views lean decidedly left. And my typical housework uniform is sports bra, leggings, and Converse. Practicality over perfection.
Life is a mess. The name of the blog just popped into my head one morning. I liked it enough to ponder what it represented. And even though it is still not exactly clear in my head (because nothing is ever clear in my head), I want this blog to be the modest antagonist of the trad wife movement. A place for people navigating the difficult reality of day-to-day life – whether you’re dealing with mental health struggles, physical illness, chronic pain, or simply feeling unsatisfied and exhausted. I’ve been struggling with depression for years and, until recently, I had lived with chronic pain from endometriosis. It had meant several years of being unable to make a living outside the house. It’s still a struggle to accept those lost years sometimes, but I’m working on it.
What I’ll probably never get to, however, is embracing the role of homemaker with open arms. Because I’m home most of the time, I still feel responsible for handling the bulk of the housework. I consider myself a feminist, yet somehow, these societal expectations about domesticity have wormed their way into my head.
So, here it is. I’m releasing this blog into the online universe, hoping it finds others who need to read this. Because let’s be honest: finding redemption in housework isn’t happening, no matter what influencers on social media suggest. If you’re also navigating the messy reality of daily life, you’re not alone. If the myth of the perpetually happy homemaker makes you roll your eyes, then welcome. You’ve found your place.
Now, over to you: What’s your go-to uniform for tackling chores? Share in the comments below!
life is a mess 
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